Testemonials
When you are pregnant it is one step at a time and I whilst I was still adjusting to being pregnant the thought of labour seemed a bit too frightening to deal with! I wasn't keen on giving birth in hospital, though, I thought that only sick people went there and I definitely wasn't sick. I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of people I did not know doing things to me that I might not want. However, going to a festival where Vanessa was holding a birthing talk sorted out my fears and set my partner and I firmly on the right path for us on the somewhat daunting matter of where to give birth.
“Before attending the Shambala Festival I had not given much thought as to where I wanted to have my baby.
It was invaluable for me to have left my cosy tent and got up early on that Sunday morning to attend this talk as it set the balls rolling on a matter which I had very little information about, apart from the NHS procedures. My partner and I received a warm welcome into Vanessa's tent of pregnant and nursing women, each with very different tales to tell. I am not saying that all NHS births are bad, or that all all home births are great, but the message I picked up from listening to many different accounts was that hiring an independent midwife and making sure that you had the birth that you wanted seemed the way forward to us. I was glad that I wasn't alone in my fear of going into a hospital and extra glad to hear some encouraging accounts of homebirths. We also had no idea before we met Vanessa that there was such a thing as an independent midwife. I would have been very happy at the time to have booked Vanessa as my midwife, but as she runs a birthing centre in Spain it was, unfortunately, too far away for us living in Wales! I got the impression that she was a very knowledgeable, kind and balanced person doing wonderful work in promoting birthing awareness especially after listening to people who were damaged by traumatic birthing experiences which needn't have arisen if the training and education of the British medical profession had encompassed a more holistic and natural approach. Vanessa reassured us that birth was entirely normal and that all women could give birth given their own amount of time and some friendly and reassuring comfort by a trained midwife. That was great for me to hear with my apathy towards surgical intervention in labour unless absolutely necessary. Meeting Vanessa also bought home to us what a profoundly spiritual and amazing experience it is to give birth, something else which the NHS never mentions. She also encouraged me to read books with only positive words on labour and not to listen to horror stories. I wondered if there are so many horror stories because of unnecessary intervention of women in labour.
In a bizzare twist of fate, we met Vanessa again whilst in Spain visiting friends of ours. We attended a pregnancy yoga session at her birthing centre which was a rewarding experience. Vanessa was very helpful and examined my stomach and helped my parnter and I identify the different parts of my baby and how it was lying. It was a great experience to be with other pregnant ladies again in a comfortable and happy environment where I felt free to ask any questions I had. She showed us some massage techniques to use whilst I was in labour and some breathing exercises also. We contemplated moving to Spain to have our baby there as it felt so good to be there with Vanessa but in the end we decided we couldn't do that to our family and friends. However, maybe we will with our next child!
I can honestly say that due to our interaction with Vanessa we decided to hire an independent midwife which made my birth the most amazing and wonderfully suitable experience for us. I used a water pool which helped relieve a lot of the pain as my baby's head was facing my pubic bone, which was very uncomfortable until, with the help of the water, some gas and air and the freedom to get into whichever position intuitively felt right, his head turned and I gave birth after being in labour for only 6 hours. The midwife said that it was the most gentle birth that she had ever seen. I put that down to my belief in my body to give birth and the support and encouragement that I had received from Vanessa and my midwife. When Charlie was born he scored 10 out of 10 on the Apgar test and was very alert from the first second he came out of the water. Seeing him completely blew us away and I felt amazing as I had not been drugged and was able to experience everything naturally and unrushed. I was very happy that I did not tear or need any stitches.
Our baby boy is so peaceful and happy. He hardly ever cries and obviously feels very comfortable. I truly think that the calm, unhurried way that he was brought into this world helped a great deal. In a world where women are taught to be anxious and scared about labour any work carried out to educate, reassure and empower women about their natural ability to give birth is invaluable and very much needed in todays society. Vanessa helped my labour tremendously even though she was not actually there and after giving birth to my beautiful and contented baby I realise more deeply how important it is to labour in way that is sympathetic to both the women's and the child's needs.
Helen
All was cosy inside my bus. My boyfriend went to get Vanessa and Lara as planned. Lara made me herbal teas and Vanessa spoke calmly and placed her hands on my back, helping to channel the energy. She knew exactly what to say and do that made me feel totally comfortable and relaxed.
“It was a stormy night at Ciggarones when I had my first contractions.
My birth experience was everything I had hoped for and more. The whole thing was amazing, beautiful and enjoyable. I cannot praise Vanessa enough, she was fantastic!
I had a fairly quick birth and most definitely an easy one. My first twinge happened at 10.00 in the evening and Zico was born at 3.50 in the morning. The time flew by and I felt very little pain. I was surrounded by so much love and support and the space to be how I wanted which I feel is so important.
I chose to find a quiet place inside myself and to breathe deeply. It worked! The whole experience was peaceful and beautiful. I was the first to touch Zico's head and my partner Phil caught him as he came out and he also cut the cord, we all rubbed Zico to bring the colour into him then he opened his eyes wide and very calmly looked at us all with a look that said 'its fine, I'm here with you.' such an amazing memory that I will treasure forever.
I was then prepared a lovely bath with herbal infusions and sank into it gratefully. To then come out and straight into my bed with a cup of tea. Great! one of the joys of home births, the luxury of your own bed immediately! There were big hugs all around. Vanessa and Lara left with beaming smiles to spread the good news! Myself, Phil and Zico snuggled in bed with an overwhelming feeling of joy. How special the whole experience has been.
I am now pregnant again and living in England now. But I plan to travel back to the south of Spain with Phil and Zico for the birth. Zico's birth was magic and I know if Vanessa is there for the next one it will be another beautiful experience.”
Isobel
I was once again totally confident with my ability as a mother to give birth naturally and with you to guide me. Thank you.
“Vanessa your love and compassion to every pregnant womb-man is so positive and fresh. You energized a natural birthing right even more and created a feeling of wholeness within me.
I really enjoyed the group sessions every Monday. To talk in a circle of love. I remember talk on; fears and non-fears when you asked us to write it down, swap with another person, and then read them out in turn. This helped me so much to connect with myself to find and feel my issues. It was also helpful to hear other people’s views and thoughts. I found feelings that I had, but not known about until someone else voiced it.
The circle of love every week helped me feel positive and I was always energized afterwards.
I enjoyed reading the Mother magazine that Donna introduced and passing it around to others. This helped me connect to the mother energy and natural birthing ways. It was good to discuss some of the articles written.
I so much enjoyed the belly-cast session. How wonderful. You gave me the opportunity to practice whatever I felt was ‘right’; what I was being called to do. I.e. Natural birth, Lotus birth, and of course no western ideas were put across – excellent.
It was lovely to connect with other pregnant women in the area, finding that woman energy. It made every moment of connection outside ‘the circle’ special and sacred.
I would like to share with you my birthing day. Sunday 21st March 2004 (Spring Equinox/Mothers’ Day).
He was born into the light, giving us light. It started at 5.20 am when I woke up to go to the loo and my waters broke. What sudden joy and excitement came to me knowing the time had come. A time I knew would be. It was all so peaceful and natural. We made tea and watched the sun rise as gentle contractions began.
Vanessa, my birthing partner, arrived around 9am. What a gloriously sunny day, so warm fresh, bright and tender. Tom set the room up and prepared tea, food. Contractions became strong. I stayed inside, happy that life continued outside. Milly (my 2 year old) played around with Lizzy (my dear friend). Vanessa and Tom maintained the calm and peace in the birthing room. I remained comfortable, warm and relaxed. They took it in turns to touch and caress me the close I became to birth. My breath became a magical chant. Why my body and soul opened for the universe I felt such deep, inner vibration throughout my body.
I released the small soul as I roared with delight and then held my baby in my arms for the first time.
What beauty, what wonder, what magic. My birth was amazing, to true and free. So much love and devotion. Thank you. Thank you for yet another beautiful birth so memorable and pleasurable. Bless all the little angels. We named him Joseph Samuel.”
You did a great job, I enjoyed coming to the pregnancy group. I was inspired by all of the birth stories and it made us believe we could have the baby on our own.
“Thank you so much for your support and positive inspiration.
Trusting in yourself is the most important thing, then everything goes its way. It’s so easy, but it seems so difficult in this world.
I found 'The Mother' magazine to be 'pure food of light for my soul', being filled up with such positive vibration is all you need when you are an expecting mother.
I felt that on the day of the birth I didn't want to have anybody around in such an intimate situation, but then when doubts arose and you were there I felt secure and safe. You gave me confidence that everything was fine and normal. I didn't feel disturbed or under pressure. It was all perfect.
After 9 months, looking back Luis and me are very grateful that we where able to have a lotus birth which would not have been possible any where else in Spain I would recommend having your baby this way to every mother.
We had a fantastic positive birth experience which I’ll never forget. Noa is a very happy and peaceful baby and we are happy we were able to have her at home in such a natural way.
So thank you a lot.
God bless you, and lots of love”
Asta and Luis and Noa
Here is the story of Natalie's miscarriage
“I was nearly 18 weeks pregnant when I realized I couldn’t feel my baby moving, not that I was sure I had felt her before, maybe I had a quiet baby, I can’t explain it I just didn’t feel pregnant anymore.
At home one evening I thought I had miscarried. Myself, Richard and Vanessa my midwife all went straight to the hospital where they performed an ultrasound. I could see my baby clearly but there was no heart beat, my baby had died maybe two weeks ago. Total shock hit me, the hospital wanted me to stay overnight so they could induce me the following morning, because I was around 16 weeks when my baby died I would have to go through normal labour.
I couldn’t believe what was happening, first having to deal with the fact that my baby had died and now having to give birth seemed so cruel. Thank God Vanessa was with us, explaining fully what was involved and that there was no rush, the baby was in no way harming me, we had time to come to terms with what had happened, that we had choices. We could go back to the hospital in a few days when we were ready or have the baby at home just as we had wanted before, but now much earlier than we had thought.
Over the next few days Vanessa bought me herbs to deal with the shock and to help bring on the labour slowly, just as my body was doing already. Vanessa was our rock, my voice. She had been totally supportive, loving and caring since the minute I had told her I was pregnant til now when most people would not want to be involved in delivering a still born baby. I choose to go back to hospital on Friday morning after 3 days at home. I felt much calmer now and thought the hospital surroundings would give me a place where the task I had ahead, one which I would surely want to forget, would be a place I could leave it all behind. How wrong I was.
They induced me at 11am and by 5pm nothing had happened. I continued to take the herbs Vanessa had got in an increased dose to get it all going. I wanted to have this baby naturally, I didn’t want them to take her from me while I was under anesthetic. At around 7pm the contractions started and although we were in the maternity ward, we had the room to ourselves, the door was shut and we were left alone, so we carried on, Vanessa helped me through every step, breathing with me, with every contraction, holding my hand, looking straight at me. It was beautiful, Vanessa had a wonderful glow around her, I felt so in control, so safe, she has such a special gift. I was experiencing full labour and it was so beautiful, something I was so scared of, now I felt empowered, that I had lost my baby but was able to birth her naturally just how she was conceived and how she died, just to feel her inside me. I hadn’t felt her before, it felt so precious a beautiful moment in my life, one I’ll never forget.”
Every life is a gift that will live in hearts forever.
I began to time the length between them and they were coming mildly every ten minutes. Is this it??
“I noticed my first contraction on my way to the airport to pick up my mum, the night before the due date.
We got home and went to bed. Contractions woke me up at 4 am, mild but now coming every 5 minutes. I woke Seth up and told him. Then I called my midwife Susan and she said to let Seth and my mum rest and to call her if there were any changes. The contractions felt easy at this stage, I felt totally comfortable and not afraid in any way. I think my preparation had been invaluable: the herbs, the yoga and my mental attitude aided of course by the fact that my mum (Sue) delivered loads of babies whilst I was growing up; I felt well prepared.
So I walked around outside for a while, around the oak trees in our Norfolk yard. At about 6 am mum woke up, so I sat in her trailer for a while talking about stuff, practicing breathing and all that. From then till about 12 I walked around, Seth put the birth pool together, I drank some banana and yoghurt smoothie, swigged some ‘birth mix’ (tinctures) and we all got ready, contractions still relatively easy, every 5 minutes. We spoke to the midwife again during this time and she said that I couldn’t be very near yet as I could still speak!!
Then I had a bath and my mum washed my hair for the first time since I was about 10, as I couldn’t lift my head to do it myself!! Lovely. Got out of the bath and lay on the bed for a while, I don’t know whether it was the heat of the bath or just coincidence but not long after there was a strong change, I began to understand what the midwife meant about not being able to speak. Then suddenly, pop! My waters broke, I stood up, with some difficulty and the fore waters came out, next the contractions started coming strong and more full on really, not really what I would call pain, just full on. At that point I moved from leaning on a chair to the pool and what a great relief that felt, I could move again.
By now it was about 2 pm, the next few hours were quite blurry, I remember flinging myself back against the side of the pool with each contraction and then being reminded by the two Susans to relax each part of my body individually until I was so relaxed that my head was the only thing above water. I remember changing position a number of times, nibbling on sliced nectarine and drinking little sips of water. The rests between the contractions were just about long enough to get comfortable before the next one, they just come and take over your body, relax, relax, relax! At one point I remember wailing out the same sound that my yoga teacher made when she gave us a little demo of a woman in labour, very useful.
Towards the end I felt inside, I could feel the top of the head, all squishy, nothing like I imagined, that was when it changed again. I was on all fours with Seth holding my head out of the water. I didn’t really feel like pushing. I just pushed once as hard as I could with each contraction and then let the contraction work. Susan was great, she helped me go really slowly so as to lessen the risk of tearing, stretching a little bit further with each contraction. With the third to last one the head didn’t go back in as with the previous ones, that was pain (luckily it didn’t last long)! That’s it I thought, it has to come out with the next one, I think it was around this time that I said no no, which with everyone’s help turned into yes yes!! And we laughed for half a second. A few more and the head was out, by this time my mum had swapped places with Seth so that he could see what was going on. Seth had to wait watching this little expressionless face under the water, eyes and mouth closed, until the next contraction. 7.47 pm. Whooosh out she came, they swam her through my legs and unravelled the cord round the neck, I lifted my baby up into my arms, straight on the booby. Everyone had a tear in their eye. Amazing. So amazing that I didn’t even wonder in that moment whether this tiny little creature was a boy or a girl. We called her Lexi Toya. She is the best thing in my life. I would do it again any day”
Sophie
My first baby was meant to be delivered at home, but after 9 hours it turned into one of the most invasive births possible – the tension and the fear was amplified by the lack of knowledge on my part and took 23 hours, mostly in hospital.
“Having had a rather unpleasant hospital birth with my first child, I was terrified of repeating the experience with this baby.
If I’d have known what I know now after having had a home birth with Vanessa, I’m sure I would have been able to have changed the course of events 7 years ago. But thankfully this birth story is about now, and what an amazing experience it turned out to be.
By the hospital dates I was 8 days overdue, which turned out to be beneficial as we had not long moved to Spain and I was trying to organise our home and my business too. On top of getting my 6 year old installed at the local school.
Only half of our furniture had been delivered when we first arrived at our new house and amongst the missing furniture was my beloved bed. I was counting the days until it was due to arrive, hoping that my baby would hold on those few extra days. Well, he did wait, he waited until about 2 hours after the bed had arrived and had been assembled.
That afternoon I had some very deep twinges, and after a few of these I called Vanessa, she decided to come over in a couple of hours. I worried about calling her out on false pretences.
Vanessa arrived about 6ish and made herself comfortable on the sofa with a blanket and a book, meanwhile I tried to rest in bed. Feeling a bit bored and not able to sleep I got up and watched a film with Andy. The film finished and we went to bed about 1am. About 5 minutes after we’d turned the lights off I felt the baby thrust a fist downwards quite sharply and both Andy and I felt the bed jolt as the baby’s fist broke the membranes. I started laughing, it didn’t hurt and as I’d never had the natural experience of my waters breaking, I felt ecstatic and excited that this was the start of something wonderful, the waiting was over – there was no going back now!
Andy asked me what to do, I think he was a bit scared by my laughter; I told him to go get Vanessa to help me out of my newly drenched bed.
Vanessa appeared and we moved upstairs to the top room that we’d prepared for the birth. Andy started to fill up the birthing pool. The next several hours blurred into each other, and I have vague memories of group hugs to take the weight off my legs. Lots of standing and swaying. Watching of old ‘Porridge’ episodes and listening to music and trying to stare at a lit candle. I kept dozing in and out of consciousness, I was very drowsy and kept wanting to go to sleep, but the contractions did a very good job of waking me up each time I dozed off. It was like ground-hog day.
Our hot water ran out before the pool was full, so it lost it’s warmth, and became unusable. In retrospect I don’t think I would have liked to have been floating, I liked the feeling of being near the ground and letting gravity guide the course of events.
I remember Vanessa massaging my shoulders, kneading my back and administering reflexology. She seemed to know exactly where I needed to be touched and when.
About midday (the next day), Vanessa told Andy that I needed to go out for a walk for half an hour to get things moving. I remember being horrified by the notion of the villagers seeing me having a contraction on the ground in the middle of the village. I objected, but was over-ruled.
They bundled me up in a jumble of clothes with my slippers and a big old coat and off we went round the village. I immediately felt much better for the fresh air and for being able to walk through the pain with each contraction. We did get some funny looks though, and Andy was asked if I was ok at one point. I have no idea what the locals must have thought of the foreigners in their village dragging each other around looking like death warmed up.
I managed to force myself to stay upright and to focus on keeping moving at all costs, I felt like I’d regained some control, as previously all I’d felt like doing was curling up on the floor and going to sleep. On the way back to the house the contractions intensified, so we went straight back upstairs to the warmth, which was lovely and cosy with the wood burner chucking out loads of heat and the floor strewn with cushions and blankets and a large foot stool. The shutters were half closed too, making the light soft and subdued.
I couldn’t make up my mind if I wanted to stay dressed or to strip off, as my body temperature kept changing from boiling hot to shivering cold. In the end I decided to sweat it out, as I hate to be cold so I stayed in my nightdress.
Vanessa and I stood for a while with my arms around her shoulders or her waist every time a contraction kicked in. She told me how to breathe with the contraction, which really helped with the pain, working with it’s fluctuations.
Then for a while I stood with my legs slightly bent and my hands resting on my thighs for support, bending my knees more every time I had a contraction. I had a strong feeling of wanting to bear down at this point, but after a while my legs started to weaken, so I got onto the cushions on the floor and stayed on my knees with my upper body leaning over the foot stool.
Vanessa was behind me applying pressure to my sacrum, and Andy was next to my head on the footstool, where I could grip onto his hand during each contraction. Little did I know that he’d cut the hand I’d chosen to clench earlier that day, he wisely decided not to say anything as he felt his pain didn’t compare to mine!
As my previous delivery had been so invasive and disappointing I was surprised that we were suddenly at the point where I really really wanted to push the baby out, and it seemed so natural, I wasn’t being shouted at to push. In fact I asked Vanessa a few times if she could see the baby’s head. First time she said yes, about 1p’s worth in size, then 2p, so when Andy chipped in with 5p I felted deflated, until I realised that he was thinking in values instead of size – strange what sticks in your mind.
I was aware of Vanessa’s hands gently pulling the skin aside to help the baby’s head out. I’ve never screamed so much in my life – not in a horror film way, but in a full throttle kind of way that felt very good and natural and gave me back some feeling of involvement with this baby’s arrival. Even though it was hard work and the most painful pain I’ve ever encountered, it felt productive and that I was moving towards this higher state and eventual goal. I actually started to look forward to the next contraction, thinking that this one would be the one that would do it. After what turned out to be the penultimate contraction where I could feel the baby retracting back up the birth canal, I knew that I would have to fill up my lungs to bursting point and really go for it, and so I did.
As the baby’s head came out I felt Vanessa’s fingers searching for the cord round his neck, which was painful beyond belief, but once I knew what she was doing it made sense and I found myself able to accept the additional pain. Next push and his shoulders and body shot out, complete with a hand over his left eye. My god did that feel good.
I half heard Andy say to Vanessa that it was a boy, but he didn’t sound too sure, so I asked him what Vanessa had said. Meanwhile I tried to turn myself around to get a look at the baby, which wasn’t easy as my legs had gone numb and I had the umbilical cord to encounter. Vanessa was busy clearing the baby’s airways, so not really able to respond.
In the end I asked her 3 times if it was definitely a boy. It was, and he was perfect, he didn’t cry, just looked around then closed his eyes.
We had a cuddle, then shortly after his cord was cut I felt the urge to push the placenta out. It shot out and was huge and hot.
We then sat on the sofa wrapped in blankets, me a bit shell shocked as the pain had stopped, but there was now a warm feeling of euphoria at the arrival of this little person; plus he was a boy, which I knew Andy had really wanted, even though we’d both come round to having a girl, which was what we’d been told to expect at the 20 week scan. We started laughing about me shouting out during one particularly bad contraction, ‘oh, oh ….…..bum!’ Then within minutes my 6 year daughter arrived back from school, we both had tears in our eyes as we showed her her baby brother – not what she’d been expecting either! We all got onto the sofa, sat and cuddled and then drank hot chocolate and biscuits. It was fab, such an amazing feeling.
Having had a home birth with Vanessa has banished the demons that I had harboured for almost 7 years. My son is an absolute dream, he’s very relaxed and very easy to read.
My brother said to me after Alfie’s arrival that it had vindicated our move to Spain, him being born at home. For Alfie is a true Conchar baby – the first to be born at home in the village for at least 15 years!”
My birth story, as told by my mother. Alfie Elvis Davies
The kids were swinging like monkeys from the rafters and bouncing in and out of the birthing pool as Matt was inflating it. There was Vanessa on the roof, tearing up bits of plastered bandage so we could make a last minute cast of my belly…there seemed to be a swell of noise and activity, almost manic excitement from the children and amidst it all my contractions were getting stronger. I was kind of enjoying the chaos and energy of my two children, knowing that very soon we would be meeting our third.
“We were in the very top room of the house, the door to the terrace was wide open and all the windows too, it was a hot day, we were all sweaty, but it felt airy, big blue sky and big mountains all around me.
Quite quickly after Vanessa had arrived I felt the contractions becoming stronger. I needed to hold on to something and she rubbed my lower back, which helped them through. Matthew magicked the kids away to their friends house in the village (we’d abandoned the cast idea!) and when he was back I felt I was ready, my body could let go. I wanted to sort of squat kneel on the floor and hold on to him as he sat on the bed, my head buried in his belly. Vanessa gave us some time alone and I felt calm and thankful for the quiet and peace that had replaced the chaos of just 20 minutes ago. I’d forgotten how powerful that birthing energy can be and I was just riding the contractions, breathing deeply and concentrating with all of me. The waters burst with a little pop and Vanessa was up with us again. From that point on, it seemed to happen so fast and I felt as thought I could really feel the baby working, that we were doing it together, the baby and I. Vanessa was gently reminding me to keep my mouth open to surrender to the contractions.
It felt like just a few minutes had passed when se said, “Your baby is right here”, she could see the head crowning and I turned my head to look at her. She gave me such a big Cheshire cat grin and as nodding so excitedly like a child herself it made my whole face laugh and it was as if everything just opened up. It was the next contraction, I felt the baby’s head just slide out and then in the next, her body was out and Matthew and I were cradling her together. She yelled and yelled so loud, I felt as though she was announcing her arrival to the whole valley. It was such a passionate strong entry into this world, I felt so proud of her and so in love with her so suddenly. Once she’d got towels to keep her warm, Vanessa just waited for the placenta to come out before cutting the cord, it was so special to have those early minutes just to “be” with her without people rushing around doing things like cutting, weighing, cleaning etc. I will treasure those moments.
The birth pool was still filling so I made the most of it and got in with the baby for a blissful and heavenly half an hour just bobbing about in the warm waters with the sun streaming in making beautiful reflections al around us. It was a lovely lovely birth and I feel so lucky. I felt I was humming with love for my child and my partner and I am very grateful to Vanessa for enabling it all in her inimitable instinctive sensitive and reassuring way. Thank you, what a special woman you are.”
Olivia/pegi